there she stood unkempt and crude her family lines a sickly brood her sweats all stained with God knows what brown and smudged across her butt but in the light of twilight time hot damn, my Lord she looked so fine through the years and many a stain she stole my heart my love she’d Gain
The following is written in response to Chel Owen’s Terrible Poetry Contest. The challenge asks that we channel our inner Shakespeare and write a terrible sonnet about everybody’s favourite one-pot food, soup.
What Is Soup?
The sorcerer’s mirepoix, the witches roux, with bone and water forge a mystic blend, add salt and spice, merely a pinch or two, elements together, combine, transcend.
Cast iron cauldron yields to fiery kiss, stir and simmer, cooking slowly in time, bubbling, boiling, with wisps of steaming bliss, filling the fragrant air with spells sublime.
Chick’n noodle, chowder, gazpacho on ice, mullugatawny, bisque and gumbo too, potatoes, pasta, or a spot of rice, some so thick they’re more akin to stew.
What is soup? You’ll find you have to conclude, soup is the liquid version of solid food.1
The woman has one monstrous bite, Her acrimonious air recondite. Once caught in her noise, You’d best keep your poise, Or it’s good morning, good day, ‘n goodnight.
The following is in response to Chel Owen’s Terrible Poetry Contest where we were asked to take the first line of a famous poem and then rewrite the rest as [the poet] see(s) fit. Bonus points if [you] use the original meter and rhyming scheme. My poem is a (terrible) golfer take on Robert Frost’s“Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” except on the golf course in the morning. Hope you enjoy.
Stomping My Woods on My Round This Morning
Whose woods these are I think I know Their place is on the golf course though He Rory‘s up a Tiger tail In anger bent and gave a throw
My little cart may think it Strange To watch him stomp around insane Swearing, cursing and Spiething nails Please end this round and end the Payne
My caddy’s head begins to shake As if to say it’s a mistake Rolled up cuff, the language Fowler As he wades right into the lake…
At the next tee, I’m Jacked to see If I can hit the green in three And now my woods wrapped ’round a tree And now my woods wrapped ’round a tree
In light of this weekends senseless massacre in Buffalo, New York, it still baffles me that in this day and age people can’t wrap their heads around the idea that we are all human beings, the same species down to our DNA. As a Canadian from the Greater Toronto Area, I have spent a fair amount of time in Buffalo. For several years my son played baseball for a traveling team based in Depew and we would cross the border two to three times a week. My heart goes out to the friends and families of those slain. As a city mourns I sincerely hope the slow and seemingly tenuous process of racial healing in the United States and around the world can continue in light of this heinous act.
Buffalo
A killer lurks in the shadows. Silently shedding white hot anger.
A snake slithering into the spotlight. Spitting venomous black hate.