He brought out the champagne with a blush,
“Bottoms up!” It was down in a rush.
Before he could sing,
She’d swallowed the ring,
Now they gather to scrutinize each flush.
There once was a boy named Luck
Whose folks didn’t give a… HOOT.
“Go jump off da pier
‘n don’t come back ‘roun’ere!”
But they didn’t have that kinda luck.
The woman has one monstrous bite,
Her acrimonious air recondite.
Once caught in her noise,
You’d best keep your poise,
Or it’s good morning, good day, ‘n goodnight.
The hire of a brand spankin’ new man,
Made recipe for disastrous plan,
It was clear from the start,
That he’d bloody well fack up his part,
And we’d all ended up locked in the can.
Da bins damn full of dem rats;
Dey filled it all up wid der shats.
Gone ruined da grain,
From hunger we ’ere slain,
Me should’ve procured dem damn cats
This poem was inspired by a poem written by Hobbo called Fluffy. A earlier version of this limerick first appeared in comments section of that post. Check out Hobbo’s Poems for more excellent poetry.
There once was a cloud sheep named Shaun,
Who was left with no legs to stand on,
To Wallace no points,
Shaved too close to the joints,
Sheared those shanks clear off, now they’re gone.
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