Category Archives: Limerick

Green Mountain Gold

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Green Mountain Gold

Vermont Cheddar, how could anything be terrible about that? The terroir and tang of regional cheeses with a great bottle of wine sound delightful. I’m in, who knows maybe too much wine will help with this month’s Terrible Poetry Contest! About that, Chel asks us to write a terrible limerick about this regional cheese. Two months ago I said let them eat cake, now I say let them eat cheese!!! on to the terribleness again…

From Vermont came a cheddar, behold
Legend has it, one heck of a mold
Big cheese curd not forstall
The coming Woodchuck brawl.
For a chance to taste Green Mountain gold.

And I’m off to make some nachos with melted cheese (and maybe chili!)

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The Ring

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The Ring

He brought out the champagne with a blush,
“Bottoms up!” It was down in a rush.
Before he could sing,
She’d swallowed the ring,
Now they gather to scrutinize each flush.

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A Boy Named Luck

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A Boy Named Luck

There once was a boy named Luck
Whose folks didn’t give a… HOOT.
“Go jump off da pier
‘n don’t come back ‘roun’ere!”
But they didn’t have that kinda luck.

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One Monstrous Bite

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One Monstrous Bite

The woman has one monstrous bite,
Her acrimonious air recondite.
Once caught in her noise,
You’d best keep your poise,
Or it’s good morning, good day, ‘n goodnight.

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#toomanymen

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Criminal Enterprise

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The hire of a brand spankin’ new man,
Made recipe for disastrous plan,
It was clear from the start,
That he’d bloody well fack up his part,
And we’d all ended up locked in the can.

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RATastrophe

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Da bins damn full of dem rats;
Dey filled it all up wid der shats.
Gone ruined da grain,
From hunger we ’ere slain,
Me should’ve procured dem damn cats

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Long Gone Shaun

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This poem was inspired by a poem written by Hobbo called Fluffy. A earlier version of this limerick first appeared in comments section of that post. Check out Hobbo’s Poems for more excellent poetry.

There once was a cloud sheep named Shaun,
Who was left with no legs to stand on,
To Wallace no points,
Shaved too close to the joints,
Sheared those shanks clear off, now they’re gone.

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